Writeryogini

Writeryogini

Sunday, April 22, 2012

T is for Transitions and Time

I don't find transitions easy - I wonder if anyone does? Some people seem to jump at the chance to try new things. I have never been one of those people. I see the people who go on Survivor or The Amazing Race, and I think how brave they are.

Looking back over my life, I think it would be fair to say that I've been pushed or dragged into almost every "new thing" I have done. Yet, also looking back, I can see now that those new, strongly resisted experiences form the largest core of good memories.

I didn't want to go to summer camp. When I finally did, I loved it. I didn't want to go on the trip to England with my family when I was 14, but to this day it is one of my fondest memories. I hated starting new jobs, but they were almost always better than the old ones. I was afraid to teach yoga, but once I did, I loved it. I was afraid to write, but when I finally did, it brought me joy and great satisfaction at being successful at the one thing I always believed I was meant to do.

Other people say, "oh what a great adventure" and I think, I'd rather just stay home, thank you very much. I really dislike this about myself, because I feel like I often steal my own enjoyment by being such a worry wart. I've learned that it takes me about a month to transition to something new, and after that, it's easy. So I don't know why I still resist. I've had enough experiences now to know that this is how it will be - I resist, but I persist, and then, it is all right. I'd like to just skip to the "it's all right" part, but it's not how I am made.

It just takes time. And then, after a bit of time has passed, I wonder what I was so worried and scared about. I know this is how it works, and yet I can't seem to make the transition period any easier on myself. I've tried to think if there was something in my childhood that made me so wary of the unknown, but I can't come up with anything. I can honestly say that I've been this way as long as I can remember. So the best I can do is just manage myself on a day to day basis until enough days have gone by.

A while back I wrote a post called "Look or Leap?" And I talked then about how the times when I'd just leapt had turned out to be the best things I'd ever done. This post is meant to remind me of that. Again.

14 comments:

  1. Amazing post for your T for Transition! Thanks for the reminder!

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  2. I find transitions difficult as well. Which limits me. I know that, but still ....

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    1. It's frustrating when I know something about myself that I would like to change, but can't seem to do it. I think it's "hard-wired" and learning to deal with what gives us trouble is part of the journey. I'd just like to feel lighter about things ...

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  3. I think a lot of people find transitions hard. Personally, I love the challenge and excitement that comes with new things, so I leap at the chance.

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  4. Well look at you now! I never like the first day of a new job either. There's always that fear of the unknown, I guess.

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    1. I know! But I am struggling with the transition. I feel a bit wobbly all the time ...

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    1. I think those are the best words I've gotten all day. Thank you.

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  6. I agree, too - love new things and experiences, but it would be a lot easier to just click my fingers and be in the new situation.

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    1. Yes, that's what I've always thought. To be a month or two into it, so as all the newness and over-whelment is already in the past.

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  7. I admire people that take leaps of faith too, so easily and effortlessly. It is so hard to just get out there and do things without worrying I agree. But what you are currently embarking upon is a huge transition and adventure. I'm envious of you and your husband making the decision to just do it and pack up and go! I hope to do the same thing one day.

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    1. Thanks Megan, it really helps a lot to read your supportive comments. It helps me know that what I feel is normal and that it really will be okay!!!

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