Santosha (Contentment)

Santosha is a beautiful Sanskrit word that means contentment. In yogic philosophy, Santosha is the second of five principles called Niyamas, which are guidelines for personal behavior that lead to a happy life.


Living a contented life is something that most of us want. But the road to contentment is riddled with bumps and ruts and potholes. Sometimes we miss our turn and have to double back. Other times we find ourselves well down a path that at first looked so promising, but eventually turns out to be a dead end. We encounter fallen trees blocking the road and accidents and detours. Sometimes we even manage to overlook giant blinking red STOP signs or flashing green lights along the way.


And yet.


Each step on the path, even the missteps, (especially the missteps!) bring us information. When we are young, there is so much to want, and this is not a wrong thing. Where we go off track is when what we want is all that matters, and nothing else will satisfy us. We become obsessed with the idea that our happiness depends on some desired event or outcome – getting a certain job, a certain kind of home, a certain level of income or even a certain person. All of our dreams of a happy life are wrapped up in and dependent upon attainment of these things. Our mantra becomes, “I’ll be happy when ….”


We get so caught up in our highly specific wants that we cannot even see all the other beautiful possibilities that are being offered to us. And so often, when we do get what we want, we find that it does not live up to our expectations, or it only satisfies us for a short while. Soon another want takes over and we are off and running again in pursuit of a new person or thing that we think will make us happy.


And then.


Eventually, we learn. Each time we get what we want only to still feel empty; each time that we don’t get what we want only to find that it was very much for the best; each time we let go of expectation and attachment to a particular outcome and find that something far better than what we hoped for simply "drops into our lap,” we experience our first glimmers of understanding that perhaps our attempts to control outcomes are working against us. We begin to sense that, if we let go of our need to control things just a little, things might work out just fine – or better than we ever could have imagined. We begin to sense that perhaps the Universe is actually on our side after all.


And so.

The road to contentment is the journey of a lifetime. Even when we begin to trust a bit more, to have a bit more faith, we may still sometimes want to seize control again. But control is an illusion, really, isn’t it? We grasp for it, but it has no substance. And so we learn the lesson again and again until it finally sinks in.


Eventually, we look at what we already have and realize that it is so much. We begin to be grateful for the small things, which turn out to be the big things after all. Our breath. Our lives. Our love. We begin to see all the beauty that surrounds us. We begin to see the souls of the people in our lives, rather than their outer shells or their quirks and annoying habits. We begin to appreciate nature again, the way we did when we were small. We begin to let go of clinging to our desires and become grateful for our blessings. Gratitude, acceptance, letting go, love, appreciation, generosity – these are the underpinnings of Santosha.

Limited Vision

I always dreamed of being a writer. I never dreamed of being a yoga teacher. Now I am both. Being a writer was a dream I dreamed for myself. Being a yoga teacher is a dream the universe dreamed for me. These two things, writing and yoga, have danced together in and out of my life since I was 10. In my 40's, they came together and stayed. I know that the universe wants me to teach yoga because it keeps dropping me into it and opening the doors for me. I don't think the universe is against me being a writer too, it's just that I saw that dream and knew it was within my control to make it happen, while living a yogic life and being a yoga teacher were not dreams I ever had for myself when I was growing up. Yet, somehow, I kept being nudged and directed and redirected down that path and when the time came, my soul said, "Yes, I want this," even though my mind had never consciously thought it.

This blog is Writeryogini because writing and yoga have become inextricably intertwined in my life. They are now both what I do and who I am. None of us are just one thing.  It's great to pursue our dreams, but we have to stay open to the idea that there may be more for us than just what we can see or imagine for ourselves. Being a writer was my vision for me. Being a writer and a yoga teacher were part of universe's bigger vision for me. Who knows what else there may be that is beyond the limits of my imagination?

It Wasn't Courage if You Weren't Scared....

This post from last year has been getting a lot of views so I thought I'd repost it.

Wasn't it brave of her to say that out loud? Georgia O'Keefe, one of the greatest artists of the 20th century, a pioneer for women artists and a woman who lived what appeared to be an adventurous life, was scared the whole time. Wait - not just scared - she was terrified every moment!

Call me crazy, but I find that very comforting.

And recently I read a piece from Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things, in which she talked about her own fear. She basically said that she'd been afraid most of her life, and it had bothered her until she realized it was just the way humans are and decided to accept it, and more importantly, not to let it stop her.

Fear is a real thing, and I'm pretty sure anyone who says they haven't been mostly scared is either full of baloney or in denial. I've known people who kind of swagger with cocky declarations that they aren't afraid of anything, but I don't buy it. I think it's just that what we fear is different for everyone. I guarantee those folks are afraid of something - we just can't see what it is and they aren't about to tell us.

One person might not be scared to go bungee-jumping, but they might be scared to be in a relationship or to change jobs or to write a book. Another person might be petrified to go bungee-jumping, but might not be afraid to run for public office or to work for the Peace Corps in an unstable part of the world. And then there is the possibility that both people are afraid to do all those things, but each one chooses those things that they want to do more more than they fear doing them....

I used to be mad at myself for being afraid. And there were definitely times in my younger life when the fear held me back from doing certain things and it led me to make fear-based choices that didn't work out so well. But with time, I started to be able to do things despite the fear - to leave unfulfilling jobs, to travel, to move, to learn new things, to try new things, to write my books. Even now, when I sit down to write, I'm scared - that nothing will come; that what I write will suck. But by now I've developed some faith that if I show up at my desk, inspiration will come. I fear it won't, but I believe it will. And I want it more than I fear it.

It helps when we know we are in the good company of people like O'Keefe and Gilbert. It helps when they have the courage to actually talk about their fear out loud. We think people like that are different from us because they are so boldly out there in the world. But their honesty and openness helps us understand that we are all the same.

I'll let Elizabeth Gilbert have the closing word on Creativity and Fear: