Here, Now

Our first family vacations were to Falmouth on Cape Cod in the early 1960's. At the age of five or so, I fell in love with this place and I never fell out of love with it. So living here, now, is a dream come true for me. 

We made our decision to move from Florida back to New England about this time last year, and I was already well into packing up the house in anticipation of selling when Hurricane Ian blasted through in late September. Just one picture because we don't want to have to relive that too much...

I realize now how lucky we were to come away just needing a new roof and some ceiling repair and painting, but it was very traumatic and felt overwhelming at the time. I thought perhaps Ian had blown our move plans out of the water.

But step by step we did what we needed to do to fix the house, and by the end of February everything was done. We immediately listed and it sold in a day - with closing and occupancy in 30 days. 

Our angel-hero Annie Cool Hart (my sister's sister-in-law and Cape Cod realtor extraordinaire) found us this ridiculously perfect place to rent within two days. 

I organized the move and we landed here on March 29th. We were staying at an inn, waiting for the movers to arrive and move us into our condo on April 7th. I'd had my first two good nights' sleep in months,...when suddenly, everything fell apart...

Five days before closing, the sale of our Florida home fell through because the sale of the buyer's home fell through. I was devasted, terrified, petrified. I went numb emotionally - sort of shell-shocked - like after Ian, but maybe even more so because since all the pieces had seemed to fall easily into place, I had thought the universe was on our side and supporting us. This felt like a cruel trick.

My sister, Jess, said, "There's a silver lining to this; we just don't know what it is yet." I knew she was probably right, but boy, it was hard to have faith in that moment.

Well, she was right - there was a happy ending so I'll make the long story short. Some very dear friends who were in a transitional situation of their own decided it would be a smart move to buy our house and live there while they sorted out their plans. Also their 3 cats specifically asked if they could live in the house with the pond so they could watch the ducks and bunnies. 

By mid-April, we had closed on the sale and I could finally breath again. 

I didn't share this part of the story until now, because I simply didn't have the juice. Everyone was happy for us getting back here, and I didn't have the emotional energy to talk about it - happy ending or not. I was utterly exhausted and depleted and it took me a while to come out of it.

Still, good things were already happening...My brother, Tom, came and helped us unpack. Jess came and helped me get things to storage and to give away. I hadn't seen either of them in over three years, and then I saw them both within two weeks. Without their help, I'd still be unpacking.

And suddenly, we LIVE here! We discovered that we are four minutes from Old Silver Beach - an absolutely gorgeous beach on Buzzard's Bay. All through April and May, I walked it daily in every sort of weather, letting the wind and crashing waves knock the accumulated stress, anxiety, and grief out of me. 

And now, four months in, I can tell you that I feel the the happiest I have felt in a very long time. My heart swells with the morning birdsong (a pair of Cardinals greeted us immediately upon arrival), the profusion of summer flowers, the shingled Cape Cod homes, the food, the cool air, summer concerts, winding roads, Boston accents, the smell of sea air. There are far more Peace and Save the Planet bumper stickers on cars here than...well, you know.

Here are some pictures around our condo and neighborhood.

Our back deck

And back yard...

There's a bike/walking path across the street

We live near this Cheese Shop...(waaaaay too near!!)

And this restaurant...

And this excellent church thrift shop...

After Ian, I wondered if I would ever be okay again. And it took some time, but it's such a lesson in that whole "this too shall pass" business. This is my blog, so it's my story. But almost everyone I know has been through hardship and suffering of some sort this past year and more - storms, crashes, the loss of  parents, partners, pets, or other loved ones, devastating diagnoses - you name it. No one escapes; we are all in this together.

So we just have to hold hands and take one step and then another, even as we have serious doubts that things will ever be "all right" again. I've learned over and over in my life that they will be, but I had to learn it again, because when you're in it, it's hard to remember and to believe. The wheel of life will turn as it always does. But I'm HOME. And I am very, very happy to be here and I'm not going to worry and fret this time away. I'm just enjoying being Here, Now.