Saturday, June 11, 2011

Warped Perspective

Before I get to what I'm thinking about today, I just want to point you toward a couple of writing contests that have upcoming deadlines. You can find them in my sidebar to the left.

I also put up a new Quote of the Week, this one  from Marie Curie. I love it when someone who isn't a writer says something that sounds like it's intended to inspire writers!

Okay, so the other day I was going through my Box 'O Stuff, and came across a photograph of myself, in a bikini on a beach in Anguilla. I would have been about 35 years old, so that was 20 years ago. My waist was tiny, my stomach flat, and even my thighs, with which I have been at war my whole life, looked slim. So, yeah, I know, we all looked better 20 years ago, unless you're only 30, in which case you might have had braces and frizzy hair back then. But the thing is, back when that picture was taken, I worried all the time that I looked fat. All the time, like a drumbeat in my brain was my mantra: fat, fat, fat.

There is more of me now than there was then.  But somewhere in the last few years, I either became more accepting of myself or more delusional in the opposite direction, because I have been thinking I look pretty good. I know I'm in good shape - strong, flexible, fit. It's the yoga. But I also know my thighs are chubbier and I have this belly fat that I never, ever had. I don't like it.

I know that I can't get back to that 35-year-old body. Or, maybe I could, but it wouldn't be worth it. I like to eat, good food is part of the joy of life. And, at 55, if you get too skinny, you get all wrinkly and then there is that neck thing that happens. BUT! I do think that I should lose about 12 pounds.

Anybody in my age group or older knows that this over-50 chubby belly problem is a real thing that is definitely NOT caused by eating like a pig. So, it's harder to lose weight. It really is. You don't understand until you get there and it's your darn belly that's gone all blubby on you.
So! I've joined this small women-only fitness center right across from the yoga studio, and I've been walking/jogging on the treadmill and using the ellyptical, interspersed with core work and weights. And you know what? It feels really, really good. I thought I was over that stuff, but it turns out my body really likes it. It feels happy afterward. :-) I still take two yoga classes a week, plus my own individual practice, which is pretty much: Do SomeYoga Every Day.

Anyway, I'm on a mission, and when a Scorpio gets on a mission, look out! I am down 1.5 pounds so far. But actually it's not even about the pounds - it's about that smoosh in the belly. I wish I could invent a cream that you could rub over that area and watch it disappear. I'd call it "SmooshBeGone!"

Wish me luck!

15 comments:

  1. SmooshBeGone sounds wonderful! Please send me a LARGE bottle!

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  2. How DOES that body change occur and why can't we see it happening? Your cream sounds wonderful - I'm next in the queue:-)

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  3. My foot pain is finally to a point where I can really, really consider starting the couch to 5K running program. Within a year I'd like to run a 5K with my kids (15 & 13), for them and for me. My immediate goal is to just run one lap around the school track - a loft goal right now, since I'm carrying almost 100 pounds of extra weight (I kid you not). But...I'm motivated, especially after reading your post. Thanks!

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  4. MK: I'll send you a free bottle.
    Jabblog: it's those #@&%$!! hormones!
    Alienbody: Your goal sounds great - you can do it - we can do it!!

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  5. Exercise is our only real cure to live healthy and keep our bodies working well.

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  6. Loved this and I'm so "there" with you! I'm really short, too, which is a double-edged sword. Even 5 lbs is a big difference on me. I'm on a weight-loss mission now, too. I'm losing very slow, mostly because that's the only way that works at "our" ages. I've lost 7 lbs and have 13 more to lose. I might even post a new photo of myself after I lose it...maybe...!
    AND, when I was in my 20s and 30s, and I wore a size 6, I always thought my thighs were too fat, too! How I'd love to have that body back again!! (we women are much too hard on ourselves!)

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  7. Does it ever end? We are never ever really happy with our bodies aren't we? I am so 100% behind your "Warped Perspective" and wished I had the body shape when I was in my 20 where I thought I was way to fat... but I am down 3 dress sizes!!!

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  8. Melissa...we over 50 are all sisters in this! I too thought I looked fat 20 years ago. I was a freaking size 8! And, that was after having 4 kids!

    My mindset has definitely changed. I like me. Yes, I am bigger than I was, but, I eat well, exercise regularly, and now have a partner who thinks I am beautiful, which definitely helps the old self-esteem!

    Love reading your blog.

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  9. Hey everybody, yes, we're all in this together. I do have a positive self-image despite being larger than I used to be, and I'm actually much kinder to myself in my internal dialogue. It's just that that little roll doesn't feel good - it makes me feel sluggish, and I have to move it out of the way when I do twists and forward bends in yoga class. So, it must go!

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  10. The belly problem comes with the loss of estrogen. We get that beer belly (even if we don't drink beer). And if, like my family, you tend to carry belly fat anyway, it's so sad. My goal in life is to keep my chest sticking out farther than my belly, and it's a battle every dang day.

    Good luck on your crusade!

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  11. Donna - LOL! My saving grace is that my chest did also grow, so proportionately, it's all not too bad. I've always carried more weight in my hips/thighs, not belly. So if my belly goes, well I'll just be a beach ball! Have to say the aerobics and weights seem to be working - tummy getting a little flatter by the day.

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  12. Your middle grade novel THE CHRISTMAS VILLAGE sounds wonderful! I LOVE Christmas books - I have a whole collection of them. I'll have to look for your book one of these Christmas seasons.
    I found your blog through Julie Flanders blog in the A to Z Visitors Blog Hop. It's great to meet you! :)

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  13. Thanks Brenda! I stopped by your blog too. My book will find its way into the world this year or next - one way or the other!!

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  14. It is a shock seeing yourself in an old photograph like that. It would be a miracle if we still looked the same as we did 20 years ago but we can certainly do our best. I'm feeling pretty determined to keep that pot belly thing at bay too. I've bought Just Dance for the Wii. It's great. It's the only thing that makes me really out of breath these days... and isn't that cream called vanishing cream?

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  15. Good luck! I love this post, it's great that you are not only feeling better, but that you are enjoying what you are doing.

    Also really love the Curie quote, I always love coming upon inspiring quotes, and this is a great one. Thanks for sharing it!

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